The closing of Clark’s Dairy, and the news that Rudy’s will be relocating to a location that bears absolutely no resemblance to the place it’s been since it opened in 1934, have bummed me out significantly, but I think I can handle it. What made me realize I had to snap out of it (particularly in regard to Clark’s) was the act of stumbling on a copy of Enjoying New Haven: A Guide to the Area, by Betsy Sledge and Eugenia Fayen.

This is a little paperback that I remember my parents having a copy of in the late 1980s. I don’t think I ever looked at it then but I do remember throwing it out when they moved out of their apartment downtown. The edition I remember — and which is now sitting on the desk next to me — is from 1989 and was published by Sledge and Fayen as East Rock Press, Ltd., and it is a fine little guide to the city with some really lovely prints. I found a copy of it a couple of Saturdays ago. I had spent the day at the Institute Library, a wonderful quiet place to go when you need a place that’s wonderful and quiet, and on leaving, I went into the English Building Market, which is a couple of doors down. I cruise the place fairly regularly but hardly ever do I look at the books; however, this book caught my eye: I thought, “Oh, what the hell,” and bought it.

So let me tell you: reading a guide to New Haven from 1989 is a trip. It’s really a strange experience. I found myself remembering shops that I had really and truly forgotten about, though they were once landmarks of downtown New Haven. Scribbles, a shop on Chapel Street, beneath the Yale Center for British Art: you went there for stupid doodads, stickers, obscene greeting cards, and other things no sane person would spend money on. I’d forgotten all about that place. And what makes that awful is, I actually worked there briefly. For about two days. The job was so deplorable that, at the age of 16, I phoned them and said, “Yeah, hi, I won’t be coming in. No, I don’t need to pick up the paycheck. Keep it.” I never wanted to set foot in there again.

How could I have forgotten about Scribbles? And yet I did.

The guide mentions Gentree’s, a fairly dignified restaurant that used to be on York Street, in a building that no longer exists because Yale tore it down. It was on York near Chapel, a site now housing the new part of the Art and Architecture school. Gentree’s was originally a men’s clothing store; I own an overcoat from there, which I acquired at a tag sale on Orange Street simply because I wanted an article of clothing with the Gentree’s label. The men’s shop closed, and somehow Gentree’s was re-conceived as a restaurant, the kind of place where you could get decent burgers and serious drinks. Plants; dark wood; 80s yuppie heaven. Gentree’s closed, and I was sad; it wasn’t that it was such a great restaurant, but it was reliable. Fitzwilly’s, which was on the corner of Park and Elm Streets, was a similar establishment, but much larger, and I was very sorry when they closed, too.

And the Old Heidelberg! Which is now a Thai restaurant! How can it be that the Old Heidelberg is a Thai restaurant? Well, it is the case, my friends. Been that way since 1991. Which means that the Old Heidelberg has been gone for almost twenty years. Which means that there’s at least one generation of people to whom that space has “always” been a Thai restaurant.

A sobering thought.

New Haven is, I suspect, no different from any other small city, or even town, in this regard: any business establishment that opens and then lasts longer than three to five years becomes, simply out of its survival, an institution. Some institutions are more entrenched than others: Rudy’s may thrive in its new spot, but it won’t be Rudy’s, really; it’ll be something else — but even so, you know that for the next ten years, there will be people sitting around bars around town going, “Man, remember Rudy’s, that night when….” I know that’s how it is with the Grotto, a club on lower Crown Street that closed in I think 1988 or maybe it was 1989. New Haven is filled with sentimental chumps like me who remember every club, every restaurant they ever ate at, every store where they ever bought shoes, and lament their closings. If you don’t believe me, there is proof on Facebook, even about the shoe store: Cheryl Andresen’s shop Solemate, which started on State Street and moved to York Street, is much missed by many. I still wear shoes I bought from Cheryl and her shop closed in 2000. Are people more sentimental in New Haven than in other places? I have no idea. But when I meet someone who has been here a long time, inevitably our first conversation includes a litany of “do you remembers”: the Daily Caffe; the Willoughby’s on Chapel Street; The Moon on Whalley; the Third World International Cafe… it’s always sort of romantic, actually, these conversations. We woo each other with our memory banks of the Nine Squares and the streets that radiate from it. Tight friendships are born out of these shared memories of places long gone.

Mamoun’s is still here. Mysteriously, Clarie’s Corner Copia is still here. Ashley’s is here. All true.

But I miss Thomas Sweet. I miss the pancake restaurant that used to be on York Street. (Not the crepe place; I mean the pancake place; it was where Bangkok Gardens is.) And don’t even get me started on the bookstores.

Continuing a theme: on letter writing:

I’ve written and mailed two handwritten cards in the last few days, and I’ve been a magnet, recently, for books about letters. One is a book that came out a couple of years ago, Other People’s Love Letters: 150 Letters You Were Never Meant to See, edited by Bill Shapiro. The other was Ben Greenman’s forthcoming collection of short stories, What He’s Poised to Do.

Bill Shapiro’s book appeared before me, in perfect condition, at a tag sale. I’m not sure it had ever been read. It had almost certainly been given as a romantic gift to someone (the book lacked an inscription, so I can’t prove that; but experience as a bookseller tells me the odds are good). The book looked unread. Clearly the owner had decided, “All right: enough’s enough, I don’t need this anymore.” And the book was banished to the church tag sale donation pile, along with old children’s books, dogeared and chewed up, and bad cookbooks, bought with good intentions but never used.

I bought it because its appearance was, I felt, a Sign. A few days previous to this, an old friend of mine — someone with whom I engaged in extensive written correspondence for years and years (we now communicate, sporadically, via email) sent me a copy of Ben Greenman’s forthcoming collection of short stories. My friend clearly thought, “Hm, stories about letters. Who would want to read this? Oh: Eva.” I’m not sure what this says about me, but I’ll take it. The book was sent, received, and read pretty much in the same little windows of time in which I acquired and read the Bill Shapiro book, and it’s been an interesting little experiment, continuing what seems to be an ongoing concern of mine: what it means to write letters to anyone these days.

I don’t have any hard and fast proclamations on the subject but one thing is clear to me: people can say all they want that letter writing is dead, but it clearly is not.

Shapiro’s book is fascinating in that voyeuristic way you’d expect. It’s fun to leaf through — some of the letters are just beautiful to behold, some of them are really works of comic genius, and some of them are gut-wrenchingly sad; you remember every stage of your own roller-coaster ride through romantic life as you go through the book — but it’s not a book I lingered over.

Greenman’s book, on the other hand, is more of a challenge. The book isn’t a collection of letters; it’s a book wherein letters are central characters in their own right. The fourteen stories in What He’s Poised to Do are set in different places and different times. Each story starts with its title and a postmark serving as a dateline (“Seventeen Different Ways to Get a Load of That,” Lunar City, 1989; “Against Samantha,” New York City, 1928), which is a nice touch.

I’m afraid that, the older I get, the less good I am with fiction. I read it less and less, and I have a harder time just enjoying it. So I balked, a little, but I found Greenman’s collection houses really delicately good pieces. This will not surprise Greenman’s fans. He is a nimble and clever writer. His essays are always a pleasure to read; I now would actually like to go take a look at the novel he recently published, Please Step Back.

In What He’s Poised to Do, there were several stories that left me uninterested, unintrigued, completely, in what the characters had to say. But then, others crawled into my head and wouldn’t leave. Greenman’s collection is noteworthy. To elaborate on that much would, I feel, crush the stories — they’re kind of like butterflies that way — but the last story in the book, “Her Hand,” really struck me particularly. I read it once and immediately read it again, though it was hardly heartwarming. It’s a four page long quiet sigh of resignation.

The personally-directed written word — letter, postcard, email — written to be read by one person and one person only, is alive and well. Even if reading it doesn’t always make you happy. I’m going to go listen to the Bay City Rollers’ “Rock and Roll Love Letter,” followed by the Box Top’s “The Letter,” and see if I can cheer myself up.

Fellow New Haven Review contributor Nora Nahid Khan recently wrote an article for the New Haven Advocate about the futility of attempting to find romance in New Haven.

(Link here: sorry, I can’t seem to get the link function to work right now: http://www.newhavenadvocate.com/commentary/love-new-haven )

I know what she’s talking about. I really and truly do. Romantic life in New Haven when you’re in your twenties can be beyond frustrating. I assume it doesn’t get any better or more fun when you’re in your thirties or forties. But the fact that I am writing this from the perspective of a married person — and, I might add, a pretty happily married person — indicates that romance in New Haven is possible, does happen, and can even end in happy marriage. Don’t despair, Nora.

That said, even with all my memories of romantic frustration (experienced primarily between 1993 and 1998), my own personal experience has left me littered with so many romantic memories of New Haven — especially downtown New Haven — that I can’t help but say, “It’s not that New Haven isn’t romantic. It’s that somehow people have lost their ability to notice romantic things when they’re happening; because what matters isn’t where you are, exactly, it’s what’s in your head, and what you are willing to do or say.”
The New Haven Nora finds so unromantic is the same New Haven where I had my first kiss (which was, I feel, a very romantic moment). Naples Pizza is where I had my (sort of) first date, which, okay, was not such a success (the guy showed up stoned, not exactly the way to win my heart). But matters did improve. Through my teens and twenties, romance was about walking around downtown aimlessly, looking into shop windows, stopping to sit and do nothing useful or noble on Beinecke Plaza or on the steps of a nearby secret society; going to Mamoun’s at a ridiculous hour; sitting on the front stoop of my apartment on a sweltering August night, looking across the street to Rudy’s, drinking a black cherry soda; sitting on the front porch of the apartment in East Rock reading and watching a massive rainstorm pass over us. And there were many public displays of affection. Many. I don’t know where Nora’s looking, but I see public displays of affection and romance all over the place. And I could tell you stories.

I will say that trying to find a viable mate in New Haven is difficult; this is a subject I’ve discussed ad nauseam with several people over the years. It is sometimes assumed that, since I am a local, I met my husband here in New Haven. My standard line on this is, “No, I had to import a husband.” Though New Haven is filled with single people looking for mates, I apparently did not meet the elusive standards of the single men I chatted with, day in and day out, while working in a bookstore downtown. I suppose grad students are looking for more ambitious types than the type of girl who’d while away her time working at a bookstore the way I did. But it still stung, to be passed over, over and over again. I wonder if the people in their twenties looking for mates who Nora’s looking at are people who are looking for mate, sure, but not (sorry) wholeheartedly, because they’re putting more effort into looking for professional success.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was, like Nora, bemoaning my singleness and wondering if I’d have to move across the country to find a boyfriend (I didn’t). And I have lots of friends, male and female, who talk to me all the time about how it sucks to be dating in New Haven. I always say, “I know. I know.” Because I do know. But I also think that things change; we change; and, New Haven being what it is, the available pool changes. Romantic life in New Haven is very, very possible, and can be more wonderful than you’d imagine. Give it time, and in the meantime, be grateful you’re not paying New York rent while you suffer through your romantically-challenged years.

One of my favorite people in New Haven is my second cousin Andy, who happens to live two blocks away from us, down the street, with his wife, Karen. Lest you think this is all about how wonderfully tight-knit my family is, and how great it is we live so near to one another, blah blah blah, let me jump right in and say that it sounds that way, but in fact, it’s not true, and the reality is weirder. Andy grew up in Chicago and I never even met him until I was 25 years old. He moved to New Haven about four years ago because of Karen, who, it turns out, grew up just outside of New Haven. But they met in Ann Arbor and courted there, and as for their winding up living two blocks away, that was a total fluke. Karen landed a job in Westport, and rents there were so high that they chose to live in New Haven instead. And the nicest apartment they saw, when they were looking around, was on my street. So heigh-ho, here’s my cousin Andy and his wife Karen, and we see them all the time, and believe you me, our parents are all thrilled. It’s very cozy.

Andy and Karen are completely brilliant and wonderful people and they prove it to me on a fairly frequent basis, the most recent of which was when Andy suggested that there be created a Slow Mail movement, akin to the Slow Food movement. As someone who has pontificated at some length about the glory of letter writing, and how sad it is we don’t do it more, I glommed onto this right away, of course. (I’m sure Mark Oppenheimer would too — I seem to recall hearing his NPR-friendly voice over NPR airwaves recently talking about this very subject.) Andy posted a status line on Facebook saying something along the lines of “Hey: Slow Mail. Anyone else think this is a great idea?” And he generated more than a few comments, among them someone’s suggesting that he do a Google search for something called the Letter Writers Alliance.

Well, I don’t know if Andy ever did that Google search, but I sure as hell did, and within an hour I’d convinced myself to join the organization. If you go to http://www.16sparrows.com/shop/Letter-Writers-Alliance.html then you too can join the LWA. It doesn’t cost a lot of money, which is good, because it’s kind of a silly thing to do, but boy, when I got my packet in the mail from them, I thought, “This is worth every penny.”

The LWA was founded by some stationers who make what they describe as “greetings cards for sarcastic, quirky folks.” (That phrase along made me desperately wish that I was still the buyer for Atticus; how I would have loved to put these cards on display.) So they’ve got a lot of snarky cards, which are way fun (if, all right, not for everybody), and clever stationery designs, and then they’ve got the LWA, which has a mission statement as follows:

“In this era of instantaneous communication, a handwritten letter is a rare and wondrous item. The Letter Writers Alliance is dedicated to preserving this art form; neither long lines, nor late deliveries, nor increasing postal rates will keep us from our mission.

As a member of the Letter Writers Alliance, you will carry on the glorious cultural tradition of letter writing. You will take advantage of every opportunity to send tangible correspondence. Prepare your pen and paper, moisten your tongue, and get ready to write more letters!”

I have several friends who gave up Facebook for Lent. One of them, a guy who lives in Idaho, sent me a Facebook message about two weeks before Lent began, asking if I would write to him, on paper, during Lent. I said, “Of course!” I did, using LWA stationery. I admit that I didn’t use a fountain pen, but even so, it was a pleasure.

If you’re not interested in food skip this piece.

No, I take that back. You don’t have to be interested in food as in Food. What I want is people who like to eat. Do you like to eat? Good, then keep reading.

Everyone talks about Alice Waters. Alice Waters this, Alice Waters that. Berkeley is Heaven (unless you’re Caitlin Flanagan, in which case it seems to be a special circle of hell, and I don’t know why she doesn’t move to the East Coast, but there it is). Fa la la la la la. I’m tired of it, and I am really damned tired of reading proclamations on food and eating from someone who just can’t seem to get it that most of the country does not live in Berkeley, California. I know I’m not the only person who’s got serious Alice Waters Fatigue. So for those of you who like to eat, and to Eat, and who like food and Food, and who like reading about it, let me make a recommendation. I promise I’m not about to tell you to read Michael Pollan.

Please go read any book by John Thorne.

I know he gets reviewed sometimes Big Places and I’m always so thrilled for him. The food magazines have always sung his praises. But at the same time, not once in my life have I ever talked to someone who knew who he was. I’ve never had someone idly look at my bookshelves and see all the John Thorne and go, “Oh, you like him too?”

I had no idea who John Thorne was until I read Laurie Colwin (sorry to bring up her name again, but it’s true); in one of her cookbooks she mentions a pumpkin tian that he wrote about. I have no interest in eating pumpkin so I didn’t really think about John Thorne again until several years later when I was browsing in a bookstore (why do I remember this? it was Atticus) while coming down with a cold. On a whim I bought Thorne’s Simple Cooking, and while nursing my cold at home I read the book from cover to cover and could not believe how incredibly good it was.

I mean not that it was an incredibly useful and informative cookbook — which it is — but that it was just so well written. John Thorne is, hands down, in my top five American writers writing today. But nobody reads him except diehard foodies (as far as I can tell). Even though he’s smart and opinionated and reasonable and funny and wonderful. Even though the books are beautifully designed, about as appealing as books can be (all published, I think, by Farrar, Straus, Giroux, and designed by Jonathan Lippincott, who’s from New Haven by the way; Lippincott has designed some of the most handsome books in my recent memory, and Thorne’s are right up there)…

One of the great things — the noble things — about John Thorne is that he writes about food that is born out of and meant to be eaten in climates harsher than the Bay Area. Thorne currently lives in Maine, I believe (or maybe the Berkshires, I can’t remember now); he’s writing always about food for cold climates. Food in places that really do have four very distinct seasons, maybe even plus mud season. Which is a totally different thing from what Alice Waters is always pontificating about, which is food in what would be for most of us a seriously alternate reality. John Thorne’s reality is much more like mine. It’s sloppy. It’s not really very virtuous. It’s not about having truffles on hand at all times, or mincing about talking about the divine walnut oil I found in the South of France. It’s about buying a bag of beans because it’s cheap and then figuring out the best way to make the best damn meal out of it (his chapter on baked beans — oh, how I love it, almost as much as I love baked beans). Foodies who are in New Haven ought to read John Thorne, for sure, but foodies everywhere who want an antidote for Alice Waters Fatigue (not recognized by the DSM-V, but maybe in future editions) should please go find his books.

Simple Cooking
Outlaw Cook
Serious Pig
Pot on the Fire
Mouth Wide Open

I noticed in the New York Times an obituary for Jack Litman, an attorney who defended a lot of people who weren’t such nice people. He handled a few notorious murder trials, and the Times named two in particular: one, the Robert Chambers/Jennifer Levin trial, “the Preppy Murder,” which I actually remember, dimly (I was a teenager when it happened), and also a murder trial that was called “the Yale Murder.”

It was interesting to me that the Times made a point of referring to the Yale Murder, because, what with the latest big Yale murder, the Annie Le case, in all the coverage of that case I kept looking in the media for a reference to the earlier murder, and never saw it. I would have thought that someone would have brought it up, but, no, it never happened.

The only reason I know about the Yale Murder is that someone once asked me to locate a copy of the true crime book that it inspired. I located a copy for the customer, and then, because I like reading true crime, I got another copy for myself (finding it by chance at a junk shop, ironically, after putting actual effort into finding the customer his copy). I still have it. It’s a bright magenta mass market paperback. Presumably for legal reasons the publisher was prevented from using Yale blue…

Now out of print, the book tells the story of the people involved in the case — Richard Herrin and Bonnie Garland, two Yale undergrads who were involved in a relationship that had a bad ending (when Herrin killed Garland in her parents’ Westchester house). This happened in the 1970s, and while I was here at the time, I was too young to have been aware of it.

I find it sort of weird that the “original” Yale Murder has become such an obscure historical fact, even here in New Haven, where I feel like we all have such long memories for things like this. People talk about Penny Serra like it happened yesterday. But the “Yale Murder”? Nope.

Maybe it’s because Bonnie Garland wasn’t actually murdered in New Haven. But even so. Even so. It’s a Yale crime. Where did it go in our collective memories? Bonnie Garland is now, it seems, just a little note in Jack Litman’s obituary.

For someone who’s made a living for a long time talking about books and being looked at as a wide, eager reader, an odd reality is the fact that no one has ever believed me when I’ve tried patiently to explain that there are entire categories of writing I truly never think about. Whole genres are of basically no interest to me. I might know a little about them, be able to recognize some big names, might even be able to steer people who’re into a particular genre toward something that they might like — while I myself never go near the stuff. In general, I do not read mysteries or science fiction or fantasy; I don’t read military or political history or self-help books; the only travel writer I’ve ever read willingly is Bill Bryson, who hardly counts, in my view, since I think he’s really a humorist; and I don’t read poetry.

I don’t even think of poetry as being important most of the time. It’s an indulgence. Usually a whiny indulgence, I feel. It’s navel-gazing, I think to myself in my nastier moments. And usually so humorless, and undisciplined. Who needs it? (Don’t try to argue with me; just chalk it up to personal taste and move on; the point of this is really not to debate the value of poetry or poetry reading, just to make it clear that, ok, I’ve got this bias, it’s ugly, and I admit it.)

There are some poems I am attached to, though, and there are a handful of mystery novels I love and read over and over again. I’ve yet to find a science fiction novel that interested me, though. And military history? Um…. no. Hasn’t happened for me yet. But you never know; I was thinking I might read Charlie Wilson’s War some day, and even thinking that thought was a major step.

That said: I am a huge, huge, huge fan of Nicholson Baker, and have been since his first book came out in the late 1980s. I was a clerk at Atticus when The Mezzanine came out, and I read it (god knows what brought it to my attention, but I bought it, and I read it over and over again). Since then I have devoured almost all of his books. Some of them are on my yearly re-read list. I admit I couldn’t get through Checkpoint, and I was never able to spring for his book on newspapers, and I haven’t read Human Smoke (the subject matter didn’t really appeal to me, but maybe I’ll get it to it someday). Otherwise, though, my rule of thumb is, If Nicholson Baker’s left his fingerprints on something, I want to get my hands on it as soon as possible.

So my perfect husband gave me The Anthologist recently — Baker’s new novel. I had planned to save it to read while on vacation next week. However, I was unable to wait and I’m now closing in on the end of the book, reading it in snips when not traveling or preparing for a New Year’s Eve shindig or cleaning up and recovering from said shindig. And here’s what blows my mind about this — I am tearing through this book even though it’s about poetry. It’s about poetry, for god’s sake. I don’t give a crap about poetry. And I really don’t give a crap about poets who write about nature, possibly my least-favorite subject in the world - yet Nicholson Baker has managed the impossible, which is to get me to utter the following sentence: “I think I might read some Mary Oliver one of these days.”

I’m now packing for my vacation and selecting the books that will come with me — only a few, as the place where we’re going has bookstores I plan to peruse at length. But we’ll be taking The Anthologist with us on the trip — my husband (another Baker fan) is going to read it as soon as I’m done.

I learned recently about an interesting little plot regarding literature (or, at least, literary writing) and getting real mail, which is, as you can tell, kind of a thing with me. (Previously in this forum I’ve talked about letter writing and how no one does it anymore. Only, and happily, to be proven wrong by a reader of this very website.)

It seems that Nicholas Rombes, who wrote the Cultural Dictionary of Punk I wrote about here a few months ago, is writing a novel called Nightmare Trails at Knifepoint, and he plans to publish and distribute it via the U.S. Postal Service. In other words, it’s a serial that will reach its readers via snail mail. He’s publicizing his work via the web, and signing up subscribers that way, but the readers will receive their chapters in the mail, along with their bills and L.L. Bean catalogues and flyers about political candidates. (I don’t know about you but that’s mostly what’s in our mailbox.)

I think Rombes is a little crazy to do this, but you know what? Good for him. It’s a weird little experiment but I can’t think of any good reason why he shouldn’t do it. I wonder how many subscribers he’ll get. I bet some people will sign up simply for the pleasure of receiving mail that isn’t a bill or something sent at bulk rate. I’m tempted, myself.

In previous essays here at the New Haven Review, I’ve written about the death of letter writing and about my misty memories of flyers around downtown that proclaimed “New Haven is the Paris of the 80s.” I wondered who it was that put up those flyers, and thanked them for their efforts, and expected nothing to follow.

Yesterday I got quite shock when I received in the mail — via the U.S. Postal Service — an actual, real, hand-addressed letter from a man who tells me that he did it. He’s the “New Haven is the Paris of the 80s” guy. Somehow he found my entry here from months ago, and he wrote me a letter to thank me for it.

Made my day. Hell: made my week.

The mystery is solved, my friends. I’m not going to reveal his identity, but I want you all to know, all is well, and the world is now, in my view, a slightly better place than it was twenty-four hours ago.

Some months ago, I wrote a little thing for the New Haven Review about my love for Shirley Jackson’s book Life Among the Savages. I’ve just gone back and looked at the date on the piece (which can be found here on the website) and my word, it was almost a year ago I wrote that tribute. Goodness. I’ve lost track of time in precisely the same way that Shirley Jackson lost track of her blankets.

Well, in a recent Wall Street Journal, John J. Miller wrote an article about Jackson which will get a lot more attention than anything I’d ever write about Shirley Jackson, and I wanted to thank him for writing the piece because from it I learned some really good news. The Library of America is going to publish a collection of Shirley Jackson’s work. Though I see no mention of the book on the Library of America website or on Amazon.com, the book is apparently scheduled for a June 2010 release. I for one am looking forward to it.